What is Transphobia?

(TW/CW: Discussion of transphobia, discussion of paedophilia, brief mention of rape counselling services.)

Today I want to do a quick (by my standards – only 2,000 words this time) blog post on the topic of what constitutes transphobia. It has come to my attention that not everyone is clear on what is and what is not transphobic, and so it is my hope that sharing some information on this would be beneficial.

I’m not going to be able to go into every detail of transphobia here. However, for a long, detailed, definition of transphobia, I recommend reading this page on the subject on the website of the trans activist group TransActual. (N.B. I am not personally connected to TransActual myself.)

Whilst I fully accept that trans men are men, and that non-binary people are real and valid, and that both trans men and non-binary people experience transphobia themselves, in this post I will be focussing mainly on transphobia experienced by trans women like myself.

I won’t be looking at every aspect of transphobia, so more blatant examples (such as direct physical assault of trans people simply because they are trans) won’t be covered here. But I will be looking at some examples that may be considered as less obvious.

And, the final point before we get into the main subject matter, in this blog post whenever I refer to the legal aspects of transgenderism and transphobia, I’ll be referring to the law as it stands in the UK, which where I reside.

So, first up, from a legal viewpoint, who officially count as transgender people? In the UK we have a Gender Recognition Act, where a person can go through a legal process, which, if successful, allows them to alter the sex on their birth certificate, which they can then use in other aspects of their life, such as altering the sex on their passport. Such people are, undoubtedly, transgender. However, a person does not have to go down this route in order to be legally considered as transgender.

A person can go through a physical transition process, which can involve them taking cross-sex hormones, and then possibly having gender reassignment surgery. Such people are also, undoubtedly, transgender. However, again, a person does not have to go down this route in order to be legally considered as transgender.

Under the Equalities Act it is illegal to discriminate against someone who has the protected characteristic of “gender reassignment”. The Equality and Human Rights Commission has this to say on the matter: “To be protected from gender reassignment discrimination, you do not need to have undergone any specific treatment or surgery to change from your birth sex to your preferred gender. This is because changing your physiological or other gender attributes is a personal process rather than a medical one. You can be at any stage in the transition process – from proposing to reassign your gender, to undergoing a process to reassign your gender, or having completed it.”

Therefore, a person does not have to have completed either a legal or physical process in order to be legally considered as transgender. As long as they are on a transition process, they are transgender, and are protected in law as such.

In regards to my personal circumstances, I haven’t undergone any physical transition process, nor have I gone down the legal route provided by the Gender Recognition Act. However, several years ago now, I did publicly announce that I was transgender, and that I would be living full time as a woman. I present as female at all times, and I changed my name in everyday life to one that I feel better reflects my gender identity. I am therefore legally recognised as transgender, and under the Equality Act I have the “gender reassignment” protected characteristic.

If a person accepts that someone who has gone down the legal and/or physical transition route is now the gender that they identify as, but does not accept that other transgender people are also the gender that they identify as, then that is a signal that the person concerned is transphobic.

Now, moving on, I’m going to look at a few examples of transphobic behaviour that I have witnessed.

One word that often pops up in debates on transgender issues is the word “TERF”, which is an acronym which stands for “Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist”. Personally, I prefer not to use the word “TERF”, instead using words like “transphobe” or “transphobic”. However, it is necessary for me to use the word “TERF” specifically in this part of this blog post.

“TERF” is typically used by trans rights activists to describe women who consider themselves to be feminists, but who do not accept that all trans women (as defined earlier in this blog post) are women. Many such women do not like the word “TERF” as they consider it to be abusive in nature. But this is not true of all such women.

I have seen examples of some women embracing the word “TERF”, and being proud to be seen as a “TERF”. And I have also seen an example of someone who, on one hand, has self-identified as a “TERF”, but, on the other hand, has insisted that they are not transphobic.

If someone chooses to self-identify as a “TERF” then they are transphobic. There is no escaping that fact. By choosing to call themselves a “TERF” they are saying that they are “Trans Exclusionary”. If there are some aspects of what trans rights activists are calling for which they personally disagree with, and where they may have some genuine concerns they wish to raise (*), and wish to engage in debates on the matter, then there are better words that they can use to describe themselves than “TERF”. By consciously choosing to identify as a “TERF”, they are also identifying as transphobic.

(* I certainly acknowledge the fact that there areas of transgender issues which can be up for debate, such as the potential negative effects of puberty blockers on young children, or the participation of trans women in women’s sports, but these particular debates and their merits are beyond the scope of this blog post.)

The next point I wish to raise is the issue of paedophilia. For many years there was a common misconception that all gay men were also paedophiles, who wished to have sex with young boys. Whilst it is true that there are some gay men who have committed sexual offences against young boys, such men are a tiny minority of gay men. It is now widely (although, sadly, not universally) accepted that the vast majority of gay men are not paedophiles, and have no wish to engage in sexual activities with children, or otherwise harm them.

Today, trans women are also having to deal with misconceptions regarding paedophilia, where some people presume that trans women seek access to women’s only spaces in order to abuse young girls.

One example I saw on Twitter stated the following: “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Any male-bodied person who advocates for the abolition of single-sex spaces for women should offer to have his hard drive checked by police on a regular basis.”

This tweet is clearly transphobic. The term “male-bodied person” is a term that transphobic people will sometimes use to refer to trans women who have not undergone a physical transition process – remember, such women are recognised in law as being transgender, and are protected as such under the Equality Act.

“Advocat[ing] for the abolition of single-sex spaces for women” is clearly implying that the author of this tweet believes that there are trans women who haven’t physically transitioned who wish to be in the same places such as toilets and changing rooms as other women and girls. (N.B. My personal view on single-sex spaces is that I don’t call for their abolition. However, I do use the ladies toilets, for example, always without issue. I understand and accept that there will be some circumstances where it is legitimate to exclude trans women from women-only spaces where there is a legitimate aim, as provided for under the Equality Act, such as a rape counselling service where it can be shown that the presence of trans women may dissuade other women who may require the service from attending.)

The tweet’s author then goes on to say that such people “should offer to have [their] hard drive checked by police on a regular basis”. A common reason why the Police would seek to check someone’s hard drive would be to see whether or not the person concerned has committed the serious offence of downloading child pornography. The author of the tweet is clearly implying that trans women who haven’t physically transitioned who wish to be in the same places such as toilets and changing rooms as other women and girls wish to be in those places because they are likely to be paedophiles who wish to abuse young girls.

It is wrong to presume that trans women are paedophiles. Yes, I am aware that there have been some cases where trans women have committed sexual offences against young girls, but such trans women are a tiny minority of all trans women. The vast majority of trans women, like myself, have no desire to abuse anyone, and certainly not young girls.

The final issue that I’m going to cover in this blog post is the issue of social media itself. How one conducts themselves on social media offers a window onto their own personal views.

Focussing on Twitter, sometimes people will put some disclaimers in their biographical section stating that any retweets or likes are not necessarily endorsements, or reflective of their own views. However, such disclaimers are not sufficient on their own to protect account owners from criticism or judgement based on their actions.

Take the tweet that I have just discussed in this blog post. It is clear that the tweet is transphobic, and expresses a transphobic viewpoint. What are we to make if someone were to retweet such a tweet?

Regardless of any disclaimers, the retweet must be taken in context, both in the specific context it was retweeted in, and in the context of what content normally appears on the account of the retweeter.

If the retweeter added a comment to the effect of “I think this tweet is disgusting and I thoroughly disagree with the point it makes – trans women are not paedophiles” then that is fine. The retweeter here is clearly not being transphobic.

If it were to appear in a thread, where the opening tweet is something like “There now follows a thread of examples of transphobic content – please don’t be like the people here” again, that would fine as the retweeter is not being transphobic.

But, if it is just retweeted on its own, with no commentary, how do we view it in that context? In this case we can look to the rest of the tweets on the account of the retweeter. This tweet is clearly transphobic. If we can find other examples of transphobia on the account (e.g. the account owner self-identifying as a “TERF”, as described earlier), then it would be reasonable to conclude that the retweeter retweeted it because they agreed with the views that it expressed. It would be reasonable to conclude that the person concerned is transphobic. If they wish to claim that they are not transphobic, then we have to ask why they didn’t add any context to their retweet to explain why they were retweeting it.

Part of the problem why there is a serious problem with transphobia in the UK at the moment is that too many people fail to recognise transphobia when they see it. It is important that people educate themselves as to what constitutes transphobia, and then be prepared to take the appropriate action when they see transphobia. In exactly the same way that people should be challenged and sanctioned if they express hateful or discriminatory views regarding other minority or under-represented groups, people can and must be challenged and sanctioned if they express hateful or discriminatory views regarding people who are transgender. Only then can we build a society that is truly welcoming of all of the people that are within it.

My Personal Views on Trans Rights Issues

So, it’s been a while since I last posted here. Rather than give a full update on my life, the purpose of this post is to express my views on various trans rights issues which have recently come up.

But first, some explanations and disclaimers. I am now a member of the Labour Party. Recently, a group of transgender Labour Party members launched the Labour Campaign for Trans Rights, which included 12 pledges. I am a member of this campaign, although I joined it after it launched. I have signed their pledges, but I was not involved in the drafting of them. The views that I will be expressing in this blog post are my own personal views, and should not necessarily be taken as a reflection of either official Labour Party policy, or of the views of the Labour Campaign for Trans Rights.

For those of you who are new here, I am a transwoman. Whilst I haven’t undergone any physical transition, I am now living my life 100% as a woman. My name is Sophie, and I use she/her pronouns. I live in Harrow, which is in north-west London.

And now for a few warnings: 1. This post will mainly be a brain dump from me, covering various issues around trans rights that have been on my mind. 2. Trans rights is a very broad area, and so I’m unlikely to cover all parts of it. 3. I am doing my best to try and not offend people, but, with such an emotive topic, this can be hard to do. 4. This blog post will largely focus on my experience and views as a transwoman – and, of course, I believe that transwomen are women. But, rest assured, I also firmly believe that transmen are men, and non-binary people are real and valid. That all transgender people need love and support, and have their own stories to tell. And 5. Those of you who know me well will know that I don’t do brevity. Strap in, this is going to be a long one…

Trying to stamp out hate crime is a priority for me, not least because I have been a victim of transphobic hate crime. Back in November, I was out hand delivering some letters on behalf of Labour as part of the election campaign. I was on my local High Street, and had just delivered the last letter for there, as I paused to get my bearings, and figure out where it was I needed to go next. As I did so, a man approached me, telling me to “move along”, telling me that I couldn’t stand where I was. His tone gradually became more aggressive, and, eventually, he said, “I’ll smash your face in, right here!”

It was at this point that I dialled 999 and spoke to the Police. I won’t go into all of the details of the Police response here. But what I will say is that this man has not yet been arrested, and I no longer feel safe going to this part of the High Street in the evenings, in case I run into this man again.

I didn’t have anything on me at the time to indicate that I was volunteering for the Labour Party at the time, so that’s not the reason I was targeted. I can only presume that I was targeted because of what I was wearing, and that this man didn’t want people to see him standing near a transwoman like me.

This was not the first time that I have been threatened, and it’s certainly not the worse kind of abuse that I have experienced.

A couple of years ago, on the same High Street, I had just popped out to buy some milk. A man approached me, grabbed my arm, and told me to turn around as he claimed it wasn’t safe for me there. I refused, and told him not to touch me. He became more aggressive towards me, and ended up repeatedly spitting in my face.

I got away, got home, and called the Police. They came round, and took a sample of the man’s saliva from my glasses. The man himself was arrested later that day. The Police had been called out to a shoplifting incident, and had been told where the suspect for that had gone. The Police approached him, and saw that he met the description that I had provided. As they went to speak to him, he started to spit at them as well – which they now had footage of on the highly visible body cameras that they were wearing.

The man was charged with “Assault by Beating”. Thankfully, he pled Guilty in court, where he was sentenced to 16 weeks in prison. I have not seen this man again, although I am concerned as to what may happen should our paths ever cross once more.

I do not feel safe. I am aware that, every time I go out, something like the two incidents I’ve described above may happen again, or even something worse. My friends have often encouraged me to move away from Harrow as it is increasingly becoming unsafe for me here. It will be a shame if I do have to move. I’ve lived in Harrow practically all of my life, and I am now the last member of my family still living in Harrow.

It is clear that more action needs to be taken to stamp out transphobic hate crime. Transgender people like myself have the right to go about their daily lives without the fear, or the threat, of being assaulted.

One thing I’ve advocated to help tackle the problem of hate crime is education. Children need to be taught about LBGT+ issues in schools. Hopefully, they will learn that abuse directed towards the LGBT+ community isn’t a joke, it’s a crime, which can result in people going to prison for their actions.

I have known that I was trans ever since I was a child, from when I was as young as 5. I didn’t know what to call it then, or what to do about it, but it was there.

When I was about 14 I once tried to come out. This would have been around 1995. Section 28 was in full force – this forbade schools from discussing LGBT+ issues. The friends I tried to come out to were less than supportive, to the point that I gave up trying to come out, and it would be another couple of decades before I felt ready to come out properly.

(Many, many years after my attempt to come out at school, and after I had come out as an adult, one of my friends from school from that time e-mailed me, and apologised for their behaviour towards me at the time, and acknowledged that they didn’t fully understand what I was going through.)

Last year I worked a six-month contract at the same school. Things there were now a lot different to what they had been when I had been there as a student. Section 28 was no more, and the school now has a Pride Youth Network, some of whom I spoke with.

However, not all of the students at the school were as accepting of me. There were some who deliberately referred to me as “sir”, and there was one incident where a student knocked on the door of my office, and when I turned round to look at the door, all I could see in the window of the door was the student’s middle finger sticking up at me.

Things have moved quite far in the right direction in schools, but I feel that there is still more that can be done.

Now, as an adult, whilst I am now living as my true self, it is still saddening to see that many people are not fully supportive of transgender people like myself. A lot of rhetoric that I have seen has been trying to demonise transwomen, and claim that we are a somehow a threat to cisgender women.

Some people have tried to frame the debate around trans issues as an either/or issue – you can either back the rights of the transgender community, or you can back the rights of women. But I strongly feel that it is wrong to frame the debate like this. It is not an either/or issue. An individual can support the rights of both the transgender community, and the rights of women.

Whilst I am a transwoman, I am also a feminist. I believe in equality for women. I believe in the right for women to be able to stand up and assert themselves. I believe that every woman and girl has the fundamental right to be able to live their lives without the fear of assault or abuse.

However, what I don’t support is where feminists cross the line into transphobia.

Let’s take the issue of toilets. There are significant numbers of women who are opposed to transwomen like me in using ladies toilets, claiming that they should only be for the use of cisgender women. Some claim that there are men who intend to claim to be transwomen in order to gain access to women’s spaces like toilets, and to then assault and abuse women in there. I have also seen a video where a woman was addressing a meeting, and claiming that “men” (transwomen) were going into the ladies toilets and having erections in there, getting a sexual thrill out of being somewhere where “they weren’t supposed to be”.

I find these assertions offensive. I am not aware of a single documented case of a man pretending to be a transwoman, in order to gain access to ladies toilets, and then assaulting women there. If a man wanted to assault a woman in a toilet, there is physically nothing to stop him from going into a ladies toilet to do so – he wouldn’t have to dress up as a woman first.

When I go into the ladies toilet, I am just going in there to use the facilities. I go in there, do what I have to do, wash my hands, don’t assault anyone, and leave.

And I have certainly not had any erections in the toilets. I do not find toilets to be sexually arousing places.

I would not feel comfortable about using the gents. As I have already outlined earlier on in this blog post, there have been cases where men have been abusive towards transwomen like myself, and I would not feel comfortable in using the gents in case I should happen to encounter such a man there. Away from the public view of the High Street, something worse than being spat on might happen to me there.

It is my view that it is transphobic to claim that transwomen are inherently a threat to cisgender women in toilets, and other single-sex spaces, especially where there is no evidence to support such a claim.

There have been claims that transwomen are threat to cisgender lesbian women, that they are trying to “erase lesbians”. People have claimed that there are transwomen who also claim to be lesbians, who have accused cisgender lesbians of being transphobic if they are not open to having a sexual relationship with them. I can’t go so far as to say that these claims are entirely false, but I have not personally seen any transwomen accuse cisgender lesbians of being transphobic for not wanting to sleep with them.

My views on this issue are as follows. Transwomen and women. If a transwoman is exclusively sexually attracted to women, then this means that they are a lesbian. Transwomen lesbians are real, and are valid.

If a cisgender woman states that she is a lesbian, but does not wish to enter into a relationship with a transwoman, even if for the sole reason that they are transgender, then that is fine. They are not transphobic for making such an assertion. Being a lesbian does not obligate someone to being open to having a relationship with everyone else who states that they are also a lesbian.

If (and I strongly stress the word “if” here) a transwoman lesbian tries to insist that a cisgender lesbian should be open to having a relationship with them, and that they are transphobic if they do not, then that is wrong. I am not aware of any transwomen who have done this, but, if they do, they are wrong to do so.

Personally, I don’t identify as a lesbian. I identify as pansexual, and am open to having a relationship with people of any gender identity. That said, I do have a preference for women. For me, finding a partner is hard. Heterosexual women tend not to want to be with me because I identify and present as female. Homosexual women tend not to want to be with me because I am still biologically male. I don’t get angry with anyone who chooses not to be in a relationship with me. I simply accept their feelings are valid, and accept that this is the reality that I have to live with. Dating when trans is hard…

I’ve not gone through any formal or official process regarding changing my gender identity. For me, the whole process seems very long and daunting. I therefore feel that changes to how this process works need to be made, and I am broadly in favour of self ID.

Many people who are against self ID have concerns that men might try to abuse the process in order to gain access to women only spaces. My belief (and, yes, I accept that this is only a belief) is that such cases would be extremely rare. However, I would accept a need for possible further checks where particularly sensitive single-sex areas are concerned.

For example, here is a hypothetical case. It is of a person who was assigned male at birth, and has lived their whole life so far as a man. They then commit a crime of a sexual nature against a woman, are convicted of that crime, and are sentenced to prison as a result. If, at this point, this person decides to now self ID as a woman, then this should not just be simply accepted. It shouldn’t necessarily be outright denied, but in a case like this further checks would be required, to ensure self ID isn’t being abused.

However, I would expect cases such as this to be rare. Where there is a legitimate cause for concern over self ID, further checks can be required. But they should only be for exceptional and genuinely suspicious cases, such as the hypothetical case that I have outlined here. The default position should not be that all people who identify as transwomen pose a threat to cisgender women.

One big issue that I have with the trans rights debating issue is where people try to demonise transwomen, using language which I would consider to be offensive.

Let’s consider the issue of transwomen athletes taking part in women’s sports. There is no easy answer to this one. On the one hand, transwomen should have some way in taking part in competitive sports. On the other hand, it has to be done in a way that is fair to all.

Personally, I can accept the argument that, no matter what level a transwoman’s testosterone levels go down to, and no matter how much of a physical transition a transwoman goes through, transwomen will always be biologically different to cisgender women. Whether or not this gives them an inherent advantage when it comes to sport is not part of the debate that I am going to come down on either side of in this blog post, but I would agree that more research by experts in this field would be useful here.

There is certainly a debate to be had on this issue. But the way that some people have approached this debate I consider to be wrong and hurtful.

Some people have described transwomen taking part in competitive sport as “cheaters”. I consider this to be offensive.

A transwoman who is meeting the rules set by their relevant sporting body is not “cheating”. A person is not a cheater if they are following the rules. Now, there may be people who disagree with those rules, and who may wish to campaign for those rules to be changed, but calling people who are following the rules that are currently in place “cheaters” is wrong.

It is unacceptable to lump all transwomen athletes in the same category as people like Lance Armstrong, people who actually did cheat, people who deliberately and maliciously broke rules to gain a competitive advantage.

When people approach this debate by referring to transwomen athletes as “cheaters”, my view is that this is demonising transwomen. It is offensive to transwomen, and it is not a helpful way to initiate a meaningful debate.

Transphobia, and transphobic attitudes, need to be stamped out. As I have already stated, trans rights should not be in opposition to women’s rights. There are now large numbers of women who are standing up and fighting for women’s rights. And that is a good thing.

However, one thing I firmly believe in, is that feminism should not be used as a shield for transphobia.

It doesn’t matter how much good work a person does to further women’s rights, it will never be enough for such a person to effectively be granted a licence to be transphobic.

Where a person is being transphobic, is demonising transwomen, is saying things about transwomen, and the transgender community, which are not true, and which are designed to stoke up unfounded fears against people who are transgender, then they should be condemned for such actions.

Transgender people are under real threat of abuse. Transgender people are still suffering in today’s society. Transgender people need help and support.

And transgender people also have the right to assert themselves, and to fight for their rights, so that we can be equal members in society.

And I hope to be able to play my small part in this with my involvement with the Labour Campaign for Trans Rights.

Now, I accept that the whole area that this blog post covers is a controversial one, with various people having many different views about what I have discussed here. There are debates to be had. And I am happy to have those debates. I am happy to listen to the viewpoints of others, where they come from a position of respect, and a desire to have a genuine, meaningful, constructive debate.

Should anyone wish to discuss any of the points that I have raised here with me, then I am happy to do so. You may contact me via Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me on SophieKGreen@gmx.co.uk. I am also open to meeting people face-to-face to discuss these issues (and especially with any members of the Harrow West Constituency Labour Party, or the Harrow East Constituency Labour Party).

I live in hope of a brighter future for the transgender community, and will be grateful for all that we can do to try and bring this about.

An FAQ Regarding my Gender Identity and Transition

Since I last posted here, almost a year ago, things have progressed with my gender transition. More people are now learning about my true identity, as I will soon reach the point where I will be living as myself 100% of the time. So here is a list of FAQs regarding my gender identity and transition, mainly for people who are learning about my true identity for the first time. If you have any further questions, please feel free to post them in the comments, or send them to me via the communication method of your choice. (I may update this post with further questions if I get any.)

What is your gender identity?
The word I have used to describe my gender identity is femandrogyne. This means that I have seen myself as being between male and female, but leaning more towards the feminine side. However, since I first came out, I’ve felt more and more feminine, and now prefer to describe my gender simply as female.

What are your preferred pronouns?
I prefer feminine pronouns, i.e. She/Her.

What name do you wish to be known by?
Sophie Green.

What was your name before you were Sophie?
Karl S. Green. I refer to this as my “old name”. However, many people in the trans community refer to their “old names” as their “dead names”, and do not wish people to know them, or use them. Whilst I am OK with people knowing what my old name is, please bear in mind that this will not be the same for many other trans people that you may meet.

Both your website and Twitter handle state your name as “Sophie K. Green”. What does the K stand for?
It doesn’t technically stand for anything (although it should be obvious where it comes from). I added the K when changing my Twitter handle, as “SophieGreen” was already taken. In most places I will write my name simply as “Sophie Green”. I will only add the K when I need to make my name unique, such as for my Twitter handle or website URL.

Will you be changing your name by Deed Poll?
At this stage, I have no plans to officially change my name. Therefore, for all legal and official purposes, I shall remain “Karl”. But, for all other purposes, including day-to-day living, I shall be “Sophie”.

Why did you choose the name “Sophie”?
“Sophie” has always been one of my favourite girls names, and I have thought of myself as “Sophie” for many years now.

Are you planning to undergo a physical transition?
At this stage, no. For various reasons (which I don’t wish to elaborate on, so please don’t ask) for the time being I don’t wish to undergo a physical transition. However, I may change my mind on this in future.

Are you undergoing hormone treatment?
No.

What are you going to do about facial hair?
Up until now, I have kept my beard, although i have kept it short. Once I start living as myself 100% of the time, I’m going to try shaving it again. However, I find shaving uncomfortable (I always have) so I’ll have to see how it goes. Even if I shave in the morning, it may start showing again later in the day. Please be mindful that facial hair is often a sensitive issue for transwomen, so if you see me with any hint of facial hair, please don’t draw attention to it.

Which toilet/bathroom do you intend to use?
Once I’m living entirely as myself, I intend to use the ladies. No one has anything to fear from this – whenever I go into the ladies, I will simply be going there to use the facilities.

How long have you known that you were trans?
That’s hard to say. There were indications in my mind from when I was as young as 5 (although I’m not prepared to elaborate on what they were). At that age I was too young to know exactly what it was, or what to call it. During my schooldays LGBT issues simply weren’t spoken about in school (due to a legal restriction known as “Section 28”, which has since been repealed). I certainly knew by the age of 11 that I was a girl. When I was 14 I tried to come out to some friends at school, but it didn’t go well and I retracted. It took me until a couple of years ago to start coming out as my true self.

Why have you decided to become a woman?
I haven’t decided to become a woman. I have always been a girl/woman. What I have decided to do is be open about my true self, and to start living under my true identity.

What is your sexuality?
I define my sexuality as pansexual. This is similar to bisexual, but it is a term which recognises that there are more than two gender identities. As well as being attracted to men and women, I am also attracted to people who identify as anything inbetween, or who identify as agender (i.e. as not having a gender, as not being male, female, or anything inbetween). That said, I still have a preference for women. But that is a preference, and I am open to having a relationship with people of any gender identity.

If you identify as a woman, why aren’t you more attracted to men?
Gender identity and sexuality are two separate issues, and one does not automatically inform the other. There are transwomen who also identify as lesbians, and transmen who also identify as gay, and these are perfectly valid identities.

Are you just doing this to get attention?
No. No transgender person comes out as transgender, and transition to their preferred gender, in order to get attention. We take great risks in coming out and to start living our lives as our true selves, and none of us takes these risks just to get attention.

How have your friends reacted to your gender identity? Do you have a support network?
The vast majority of my friends have been very supportive. When I first came out, there were a couple of “friends” who proceeded to block me on social media. Those people I can do without. But my true friends, of which I have many, have been very accepting of who I am.

When do you intend to start living as your true identity 100% of the time?
In most settings, I am already living as myself. I intend to start living as myself, in all settings, 100% of the time, from May 2016.

Right, I believe that covers most things for now. Remember, if you have a question which hasn’t been included here, you are welcome to ask me.

Transphobia in Wealdstone

Ever since I came out as Sophie back in December, I’ve been going out more often in feminine clothing. Whenever I present as female I don’t refer to it as going out “as Sophie”, I refer to it as going out “as myself”. “Sophie” isn’t a character that I play, Sophie is who I am. Since coming out as Sophie, I’ve been growing in confidence in going out as myself.

But, yesterday, I had my first experience of receiving transphobic abuse.

I was walking along a street in Wealdstone, in Harrow, north London, where I live. I was minding my own business, as I made my way to the shops in Harrow Town Centre. I wasn’t wearing anything outrageous or provocative, just clothes that felt right and comfortable for me.

I then walked past a man who started shouting at me. He repeatedly shouted, “Oi! Why are you dressed like a batty boy?!” (For the benefit of anyone who’s unaware – as I’m not sure how widespread the use of this term is – “batty boy” is a derogatory term for a gay man.) I didn’t look at him. I kept my eyes down, face forward, and carried on walking along the street – quickly. He appeared to be shouting at me louder, and following me, getting closer. I hazarded a look back, and he had abandoned his pursuit of me, turning to cross the road – although, at this point, I believe he may have used the term “******* pussy”.

This was a busy road during rush hour, so there was plenty of traffic about. There were also a couple of other pedestrians nearby who could hear this man’s abuse. Therefore the risk of any sort of physical assault was hopefully low – although what this man might have done if there hadn’t been so many witnesses about I dread to think…

Whilst I was a bit shaken up, I carried on to Harrow Town Centre, did my shopping, and got home in one piece. Thankfully, not everyone in Harrow is like this man – whenever I’ve gone shopping as myself the people who’ve served me in shops have just treated me like anyone else, without making any issue about my gender identity.

And that is what I want. I just want to be treated as normal, just like anyone else going about their business.

Why do some people feel the need to act in a threatening and abusive manner towards someone, just because they are different? I wasn’t doing anything to bother this man. I wasn’t talking to him, following him, interacting with him in any way. In what way does my choice to wear a skirt in any way affect him? If it somehow offended him (and there’s no reason why it should), what does shouting obscenities at me achieve? If someone dressing in accordance with their gender identity, which may be different to what they were assigned at birth, in any way offends you, just look away and ignore them if they walk past you. Making them feel insecure achieves no purpose.

Admittedly, I will now be a little scared to go out as myself. There is every possibility that I may encounter this man again, or others like him. Some people might say that, in order to stay safe, I should only were masculine clothes when I go out, at least if I go out alone.

But I don’t want to do that, and I don’t see why I should. I should feel free to wear whatever I feel comfortable wearing when I go out. If I want to wear a skirt when I go out, I have the freedom to choose to do so, and I shouldn’t feel threatened into doing otherwise.

I briefly described this episode on Twitter yesterday, and, fortunately, I have many friends who are supportive of me, and accepting of who I am. Hopefully, the man I encountered yesterday is in the minority, and that this was an isolated incident. Admittedly, I will be careful about where I go when I go out as myself, but I’m not going to change how I dress because of other people’s prejudices.

I am free to be who I am…

The Story So Far…

So, I’ve decided to try and finally do something with my website. I’ve registered a new domain name to fit my new identity, but the old domain name still exists as well. I’ve also turned my site it into a WordPress blog. However, the old site is still in existence, and you can find it here.

I know everything is looking a bit sparse here at the moment. I’ve opted for a very basic theme, just to get things up and running smoothly. In time I hope to make everything here look a bit more interesting. However, if you have any advice, particularly if you have experience with WordPress (and can recommend any themes!), please let me know…

A new site feels like a new beginning. However, for anyone who’s new to my site, or who’s unaware of the developments in my life over the past year, here’s a brief run-down on the story so far.

Around a year ago I came out as bisexual, as well as stating that my gender identity is femandrogyne. For me at least, that means I don’t feel fully male or female, but lean more towards the feminine side.

At the time, I was a guy going by the name of Karl S. Green. In December I decided to embrace my feminine identity, and now mostly go by the name Sophie Green. There’s a post on my old blog where I publicly announced this. There’s another post on my old blog from two weeks ago where I provided an update on my life.

Whilst I have come out as Sophie to my immediate family, I still go by Karl there. And I’m still Karl at work, and have not come out there. I’m nowhere near ready to come out there. However, there are some people at work who do know about it. There are those who are Facebook friends, and so saw everything there. And there may be other people at work who found their way to my Twitter feed or my old blog, and saw the news there, but haven’t said anything to me due to my not being publicly out at work. (Although, if you are someone who knows me from work, and you’re reading this, and you’re cool with my new identity, you’re welcome to send me a message to let me know…)

So, with this new site and new blog, I want to try and go back to regular updates. I’m not sure how regular updates will be though. And, whilst my gender identity is clearly a big thing in my life at the moment, and there will inevitably be some blog posts regarding it, I am more than just my gender identity. Therefore, expect blog posts on a whole variety of topics…

So, I think everyone’s up to date now. Just one last thing: If any of you have any questions about any of this, do feel free to be up front and ask me, either publicly in the comments, or privately via the communication method of your choice…