Since I last posted here, almost a year ago, things have progressed with my gender transition. More people are now learning about my true identity, as I will soon reach the point where I will be living as myself 100% of the time. So here is a list of FAQs regarding my gender identity and transition, mainly for people who are learning about my true identity for the first time. If you have any further questions, please feel free to post them in the comments, or send them to me via the communication method of your choice. (I may update this post with further questions if I get any.)
What is your gender identity?
The word I have used to describe my gender identity is femandrogyne. This means that I have seen myself as being between male and female, but leaning more towards the feminine side. However, since I first came out, I’ve felt more and more feminine, and now prefer to describe my gender simply as female.
What are your preferred pronouns?
I prefer feminine pronouns, i.e. She/Her.
What name do you wish to be known by?
Sophie Green.
What was your name before you were Sophie?
Karl S. Green. I refer to this as my “old name”. However, many people in the trans community refer to their “old names” as their “dead names”, and do not wish people to know them, or use them. Whilst I am OK with people knowing what my old name is, please bear in mind that this will not be the same for many other trans people that you may meet.
Both your website and Twitter handle state your name as “Sophie K. Green”. What does the K stand for?
It doesn’t technically stand for anything (although it should be obvious where it comes from). I added the K when changing my Twitter handle, as “SophieGreen” was already taken. In most places I will write my name simply as “Sophie Green”. I will only add the K when I need to make my name unique, such as for my Twitter handle or website URL.
Will you be changing your name by Deed Poll?
At this stage, I have no plans to officially change my name. Therefore, for all legal and official purposes, I shall remain “Karl”. But, for all other purposes, including day-to-day living, I shall be “Sophie”.
Why did you choose the name “Sophie”?
“Sophie” has always been one of my favourite girls names, and I have thought of myself as “Sophie” for many years now.
Are you planning to undergo a physical transition?
At this stage, no. For various reasons (which I don’t wish to elaborate on, so please don’t ask) for the time being I don’t wish to undergo a physical transition. However, I may change my mind on this in future.
Are you undergoing hormone treatment?
No.
What are you going to do about facial hair?
Up until now, I have kept my beard, although i have kept it short. Once I start living as myself 100% of the time, I’m going to try shaving it again. However, I find shaving uncomfortable (I always have) so I’ll have to see how it goes. Even if I shave in the morning, it may start showing again later in the day. Please be mindful that facial hair is often a sensitive issue for transwomen, so if you see me with any hint of facial hair, please don’t draw attention to it.
Which toilet/bathroom do you intend to use?
Once I’m living entirely as myself, I intend to use the ladies. No one has anything to fear from this – whenever I go into the ladies, I will simply be going there to use the facilities.
How long have you known that you were trans?
That’s hard to say. There were indications in my mind from when I was as young as 5 (although I’m not prepared to elaborate on what they were). At that age I was too young to know exactly what it was, or what to call it. During my schooldays LGBT issues simply weren’t spoken about in school (due to a legal restriction known as “Section 28”, which has since been repealed). I certainly knew by the age of 11 that I was a girl. When I was 14 I tried to come out to some friends at school, but it didn’t go well and I retracted. It took me until a couple of years ago to start coming out as my true self.
Why have you decided to become a woman?
I haven’t decided to become a woman. I have always been a girl/woman. What I have decided to do is be open about my true self, and to start living under my true identity.
What is your sexuality?
I define my sexuality as pansexual. This is similar to bisexual, but it is a term which recognises that there are more than two gender identities. As well as being attracted to men and women, I am also attracted to people who identify as anything inbetween, or who identify as agender (i.e. as not having a gender, as not being male, female, or anything inbetween). That said, I still have a preference for women. But that is a preference, and I am open to having a relationship with people of any gender identity.
If you identify as a woman, why aren’t you more attracted to men?
Gender identity and sexuality are two separate issues, and one does not automatically inform the other. There are transwomen who also identify as lesbians, and transmen who also identify as gay, and these are perfectly valid identities.
Are you just doing this to get attention?
No. No transgender person comes out as transgender, and transition to their preferred gender, in order to get attention. We take great risks in coming out and to start living our lives as our true selves, and none of us takes these risks just to get attention.
How have your friends reacted to your gender identity? Do you have a support network?
The vast majority of my friends have been very supportive. When I first came out, there were a couple of “friends” who proceeded to block me on social media. Those people I can do without. But my true friends, of which I have many, have been very accepting of who I am.
When do you intend to start living as your true identity 100% of the time?
In most settings, I am already living as myself. I intend to start living as myself, in all settings, 100% of the time, from May 2016.
Right, I believe that covers most things for now. Remember, if you have a question which hasn’t been included here, you are welcome to ask me.